your mom is a slacker

Dear Kristin,

Remember when I used to nag you about getting your homework done before you went out to play? And how I used to holler at you when you would go out to play without opening a book anyway? Well, it's payback time. You have my permission to berate me for being a procrastinator, slacker, lazy-lou, whatever. I haven't posted in over two months! I could give you a list of excuses, but I won't. I'll just beg your forgiveness, and move on. Mea culpa, mea culpa, mea culpa.

Not that those two months have been idle. I've actually been trying to perfect a recipe for a hand-held apple pie like the ones Hostess used to make. Remember those 700 calorie door stoppers that you felt so guilty eating, but couldn't stop? Those pockets of poundage that would sit on your stomach for about seven days before they were fully digested? Well, unfortunately, (or fortunately, depending on whether I'm speaking to your tastebuds or your waistline) I haven't quite got it yet. I'm close, but I think I have to find a way to add about 300 grams of fat, take out whatever fiber might still be lurking in them, and add as many empty sugar calories as I can - then I might come close to duplicating them.

In the meantime, I will offer you my apple pie recipe. I know it is one of your favorites, and I must admit it is one of mine as well. The secret to this recipe is first, to pick a good, firm, tart apple suited for baking. I like to use 20oz. apples when I can get them. Next, it is important to slice the apples thinly, rather than to dice them. Then you just pack them as tightly as you can into the pie crust. Doing this ensures that you get a really apple-y apple pie - one that is heavy on apples and light on sugary syrup filling.

dutch apple pie

1 9" unbaked pie shell

Streusel Topping:
2/3 c. flour
1/3 c. light brown sugar
1/2 c. cold butter, cut into small pats

Filling:
2 1/2 to 3 lbs. tart cooking apples
1 Tbsp. lemon juice
2 Tbsp. flour
2/3 to 3/4 c. sugar, depending on the tartness of the apples
1 tsp. cinnamon

Preheat oven to 400 F.

For the topping:
Combine flour and sugar. Add butter, and blend with pastry blender or fingers until mixture resembles coarse sand. Refrigerate topping.

For the filling:

Peel and core apples. Slice thinly and place in a large bowl. Sprinkle with lemon juice & toss.
Combine flour, sugar, salt and cinnamon in a small bowl until thoroughly combined. Add to sliced apples & toss lightly to coat.

Place filling into prepared crust, packing as tightly as possible. Cover evenly with streusel topping.

Bake for 40 to 45 minutes, or until apples are tender.

Comfy's note: This pie also makes a nice two-crust version. Just skip the streusel topping, and top pie with second crust. Brush top crust with 1 egg white that has been whisked with 1 tsp. water. Sprinkle generously with turbinado sugar. Bake as above.